To have a functioning relationship in Hollywood’s area, the area of expectance as you’d may expect… is limited. Why? Cause the terms are antagonistic. Relationship is quite the opposite of Hollywood even if every time we turn our eyes towards there we find lots of successful couples. And by successful, envying them, we must correct, beautiful. Cause all of them are and we all are looking towards them sipping thirsty from our Cola cup while feasting our eyes with their beautiful faces and smiles.  You can’t have a decent relationship without someone ruining it in this kinda world. You can’t be happy when all the hounds are off to get the first picture of your baby. Even if you encapsulate it in some space alien technology it will still be hunted and photographed.

Making a little spoiler in the following aspects of a relationshit… sorry, my bad, in a relationship, and it is not included there cause let’s face it, you must be real desperate to seek a partner elsewhere you are dipping in, is that you HAVE TO have common interests. All relations, platonic, business, anyhow, all including human-dog, to be functional, must be based on interests. Leaving aside the animalist and emotional part, there resides the civilized aspects.

So. To be more precise, you have to be in the same area of expertise with your partner in life and in crime. It is mandatory if you want to have a successful relationship. So in this top I will not include the obvious of their common interests and will include the less obvious that might skip you view from plain sight and … maybe, will make your life a little bit less messier.

Going full on the words :”you get only what you deserve”, Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are, in opposition to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie utopist marriage that many would think is a model marriage in nowadays society, the perfect couple. Why would I say that? Let me put it this way… To survive happily in marriage you must simply have to respect a set of rules that few people understand and fewer people follow:

6. Be a functional happy being.

To be a functional happy being that spreads love around him must be sufficient with himself, being capable of believing that the love coming towards him is true love and not some invented bullshit that is supposed to procure him some love in return in form of money, love, sex, compliments, a massage or whatever the hell you could run your mind into that signifies love.

Eva is a beautiful woman with a beautiful temperament that hadn’t suffered anything big that we know about in opposition to Angelina Jolie, who has run through illness, not that of a deal, but more importantly has lotsa kids that has to care about and “train”. Could you imagine, as a individual that has no kids, how much of a mess can that be? Especially when those are not your kids.

“TPC” as I will call from now on, standing for “the perfect couple”, Eva and Ryan, have two perfect kids in which they can invest love and attention in an evenly manner with no stress around them that they will end up being some sort of spoiled brats with no education whatsoever. Two is kinda the perfect number when it comes to kids and that’s why, TPC, after some reports on this Wednesday, got married, secretly earlier this year, in a cute manner, in front of their close, loved ones. This leaks of information were supplied, not to be surprised, by TPC themselves.

Eva Mendes and Ryan Gossling on an event

Why? Think this way. An actor, and more important, a celebrity, has as well as the ones ruling our asses with laws and stuff, the role to lead us in this cruel world in which we seem to understand nothing. They are our role models. And coming with the savage fact that once thought to be perfect couple is now on the verge of ruin will break the vision of today’s kids, with a malleable perspective over the world and love, the main fuel of it.

They now, benevolent, come to sweeten the news reports over the media in order to attenuate the impact that those two potato- heads left over the innocent kids that seek, thirsty, some kind of model to follow. And thinking, most of all, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, were, in fact, one of the most imposing figures down in Hollywood, very hard to be overcome by anyone. So… TPC stepped in, made an anonymous statement and jeopardized a bit their relation cause now they will be even more harassed by the media, but at least they dodged a bullet.

5. The intimate life must be intimate.

The second aspect of a perfect relationship is that IT MUST be intimate and TPC nailed it. I have a saying… Quite simple I’d may add. An intimate life is… please tell me the first word that pops into your mind…wait for it… You guessed it… intimate. There is nothing in the world that can describe it much better. Not with fuss, firecrackers and incendiary declarations about their life, it only makes it harder, trust me, but with modesty, good taste and innocence. The perfect relationship must be away from the plain view, only acknowledged by the ones that could appreciate the intricate aspects of love. Love is hard kids, ask Freud.

The Worse Couple, having the roles distributed to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, have been tortured by the media and in some way forced to make life-changing decision solely by the fact that they needed feeding. TWC loved the attention, the affection of the fans, not having any “in plain sight” enemies, only the ones that seek their essence, being naïve and one of the initiators of true love, being able to withstand a lot of pressure, proving the media even if their sexual intercourse as Angelina stated, lasted only 10 minutes on Brad’s account, is able to form a bubble of love soo big, it can engulf numerous other beings that aren’t even their fruit of passion. They wanted to prove something and they failed, stretching something valuable that they thought it can withstand the pressure to the point of breaking . Such a shame.  They are the definition of martyrs.

The couple were able to keep secret both their pregnancies for several months, stating to People that Eva “just hasn’t ever wanted anyone beyond her close friends and family knowing more than they had to. And Ryan is certainly private and always has been”.

Imagine the stress that they could’ve face when in the most important period of a child’s existence would’ve intruded with possible negative emotions that were ulterior transmitted to the kids. Just a disaster.

The attention that anyone would seek would’ve come eventually, but in the early stages it is important to keep quiet.

4. Be evenly matched.

Both Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling do definitely deserve one another matching up with a score of equal A’s, not A+ but still… These kinda things are hard to naturally occur in nature. It’s like a double rainbow all the way.  Even the dynamite couple, Angelina and Brad are equals, now more of a B or C, fading in beauty, both of them, looking more like some sorts of zombies, seeing their coming of age. Sad, very sad. They were such a happy and beautiful couple. Damn those kids… They really left a mark on their existence and career having no important names in the movie industry left in the proximal period of today.

3. Compliment one another.

Being overall younger than the failure, TPC is now one of the most trendy couples out there, a real trendsetter, like the ones before them, carrying the goblet with pride and dignity, really looking like a couple that can handle the pressure. Hope they won’t make another mistake… hhm, pardon me… another brad, e-excuse me, another brat that could ruin their harmony.

Complimenting and finding new ways to impress one another is the key thing that keeps up the spark in every relationship, and being famous and all that have lots and lots of opportunities to bring something new. Actors… They are quite resourceful. For example… In an interview on Hello! Magazine Ryan Gosling declared: “ I know that I’m with the person I’m supposed to be with”, quite cute and thoughtful adding up when asked that the only quality he looks in a woman is “that she is Eva Mendes. There is nothing else I am looking for”.

It also includes well planned and exciting public appearances, improving your self-esteem and overall confidence in having the trust that you can be loved for who you are and blah-blah, see no. 1. But don’t be so eager to dream about this kinda life. Cause a simple failed appearance in which you chose your grandma style clothing could attract one of the most critic opinions and ruin you day or your month for that matter. As well as the little quarrels that could be spotted by the media and run throughout the ears of the curious, not to mention the over-reaction of the media. As well you can’t quite act like yourself in all those lights, making an ass grabbing towards your woman quite a scene. It’s sick what they are exposed to.

2. Find a common ground.

For example a source states that “Eva loves Hollywood, the parties, the glamour” and another one “She loves going out” in opposition to Ryan who prefers the quiet “homebody” life.

In these kinda particular cases in which there is a completion rather than a similarity, the two lovebirds must have the required skills to agree to… her terms. Kidding. Not. Anyhow… the appearance of the kids in the prestigious glamorous life of theirs made his terms equitable as well, making  one harmonious life.

The little things and daily interactions are more important for the stability of the relation than let’s say a pompous vacation, a romantic dinner or dunno, some expensive present you thought would blow her mind. The devil finds himself in the details, and everybody needs to find that little brat in a good relationship. See the previous statement.

1. Keep up with the important aspects in your life.

Every successful couple, trust me, needs to have that historical perspective of the loved one. Or ones for that matter. There finds rest something beautiful and completely unique: internal jokes. That particular jokes that even if it is used over and over again, finds a beautiful spot on the recipient’s face as a terrific priceless smile. If you can’t live your life smiling, better find a way out. You are useless. Go home.

And let’s face it. They have to remember lines with perfect precision and entanglement of their feelings to be able to form that one kind of art that everybody pays the damn ticket to be in the first line of witnesses that is able to see the God damn movie. So… more or less they are naturally developed to remember shit about their personal lives, especially if they care for one another. And them, trust me, will have a long lasting marriage. And let’s be honest… most couples down in Hollywood find themselves as being in the same situation as them but few find the strength to withstand the pressure of that pompous lifestyle.

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