Hello once again. I come back with another 10 morons that deserve the Darwinian prize for utterly stupid. We all know that there are people of which deaths will increase the overall IQ points for this planet and so stupid that their existence is a question itself.
Some have already received a prize so there comes the turn for other unfortunately stupid with low brain usage to take the prize.
This time the deaths aren’t induced by someone else but are more like a suicide and definitely stupid. Why have someone pull the trigger for you when you can do it yourself? Ah? So much talent wasted and definitely someone should go to jail, but when you’re stupid the only one that should be going to jail is definitely yourself.
Trust me. “There are so many ways to die, go ahead and choose one”, as the rapper Evidence would say, you’d definitely find some satisfaction to it. Otherwise it’s no fun in living correctly, right? Right? Not for those retarded piece of shit, na-ah. Why waste time on others when you really can do yourself. Skipping ahead the useless retarded intro to introduce, yourself, to some definitely retarded folks that deserve the Darwinian prize for survival.
10. Banana thieves
On this place we have some banana thieves, probably from hunger, which one day went stealing them on a plantation from Costa Rica.
Cause they weren’t all that cautious, the guardian that was sitting in his little boxy room heard some noise and saw the intruders so he went out and fired towards them. The thieves riposted but in the end they were caught. The thing that is most interesting is the fact that from 3 thieves caught, one had a bulled put in his skull, but not from the guard but from its own artisanal gun which improperly functioned and instead to fire in front, fired it backwards.
So it happens if you wish the wrong thing for another person. My question is why the hell would you steal some bananas which don’t feed you enough when you can sell your fucking gun instead and make some serious buck and feed you with a fucking stake. Where did he had the money to buy such a thing? From bananas? The morale, once a thief, always a thief, unless he shoots himself.
9. The electrocuted carbonized man
In 2014 the power plant from Tucson sent some workers to investigate some abnormal fluctuation of tension in one of the underground chambers with high voltage wires.
The room wasn’t investigated for 5 straight fucking years and the workers found there the body, almost carbonized of a men which held in his hand a pliers. The man entered the room to steal the wires and he got his reward. This raises so many questions.
How did he enter there? Was he conscious that those were having voltage in them? Was he even a worker there or a simple retarded survivor that needed to end his life in the end? Did he pass all those years without dying and wanted to solve that out? We will never know. What is for sure is the fact that death is always after us, but some run faster, some trip over a fucking wire. The morale… Steal chickens, it’s much easier and they don’t electrocute your ass.
8. The Witchdoctor
A witchdoctor Mubarak Abad was renowned for his healing talents and the way he heals the ill. Some sort of gipsy healer.
One day he came with the idea to put his powers at another level, resurrecting someone from the dead. He didn’t want an old guy or ill. Na-ah. He wanted a healthy guy so in return for some money a local guy offered as volunteer.
The 2nd day the witchdoctor decapitated the poor fellow and when he tried to resurrect him he, in his surprise, spoiler alert, he saw that it wasn’t possible. This fellow ended in jail for murder but the victim’s family received their money that were promised. This sounds like lotsa nowadays doctors which tend to make experiments only for the fame.
I dunno what the witchdoctor would expect of that, but most certainly, coming from a poor country, hadn’t any decent information of what could be done and what it can’t, not even with nowadays technology you can’t pull that rabbit outta the hat. Gotta be aware in which parts of the world will you be hanging on next time you wanna see something interesting. Go there, you certainly won’t see that kinda stupidity elsewhere.
7. Musa and his son Essa
I won’t make fun of the names cause probable that they are usual in those kinda parts. Were two Jordanian immigrants which had in Ohio a small sandwich shop.
How they had financial problems, they thought to hire a pyro man to ravage their restaurant, so in the end they will get the insurance money. Jack pyro man, cause I don’t know his real name, tried three times even with Molotov cocktails, even with torches and he didn’t succeed to fire up the place, provoking only minor damage.
The 4th time the 2 immigrants decided to take the matter in their own hands so they poured gasoline everywhere in the restaurant so that a single match would enlighten the place. After they did that exhausting job the 2 decided to sit down at the table, to relax with a fucking cigarette and of course the spark on the lighter made the blow up alongside the place. So as they wished. Smoking kills. This is the best example in order to prove that.
6. The man in the elevator
In the international airport of Tampa, a man thought that it was a good idea to open the doors of an elevator, even though the elevator wasn’t there, he decided to take the matter in his own hands and descent with his hands and feet wrapped around the cables and slide down like firemen.
Of course he didn’t succeed to hang on to that shit and fell down 7 floors succeeding to break down all his bones. The higher you are, the harder the fall.
At least this one survived his stupidity but sincerely would’ve been better that he died cause now he is just like paralyzed and of course he wouldn’t enjoy things like in the past. Now probably a walk to the door would be special. Try to be grateful for what you have or you don’t in this case and m’eh, why not try it again. That would be something special and certainly would do the job intended in the 1st place. Hell of a character.
5. Jimmy in the elevator
We are talking again about elevators and here we mention a very unlucky thief, judging after his actions, he was as well stupid, so we will call him Jimmy.
This intellectual Jimmy, laureate at the Darwin awards, took an elevator from a firm building and after the elevator went on to do its job, then Jimmy opened the hatch and tried to steal the cables while it was working. Jesus. Evidently that in the moment he cut the cable, the lift fell and crashed in pieces. This one is even more stupid than the first one, at least the 1st had the chance to succeed his action, this was designated to failure, no doubt in that.
I hate that there are people so desperate that they would steal all sorta shit, but this is the reality and we don’t mess with it. If there wasn’t for them, we wouldn’t have what to talk about. Talk about smart men? Na-ah, better talk about the retarded folks, they are just so much more interesting and more to be grateful that you aren’t all that stupid to cut the branch you are standing on.
4. Garry Alan
I have discovered that Americans are coming from Russia. In the North Carolina, Garry Alan was at a friend’s home when he saw a salsa jar with a dubious liquid in it. He thought that it was alcohol so he took a good amount of that in his mouth but then he discovered that in the jar was actually gas.
He spit and throw the jar away but unfortunately he spilled on the clothes as well. I say unfortunately cause instead of cleaning himself Alan went out to recover from that and he lightened a cigar. Another smoke, jeez. Big mistake cause our guy became a living lamp, burning as the outside as well as the inside.
I don’t understand why the knowledge of these elementary things aren’t obvious. Some people are just plain stupid and they definitely don’t deserve to die. What he was thinking? That that bad taste will fade out from the smoke? Or was he so stressed that he was stupid that he tried to forget that stupid with an even more stupid action? Only he knew. Bad that he is dead…
3. Another unlucky thief
Which entered in a bank from the US with a revolver in his hand and he wanted to shoot the cashier. The revolver stuck somehow and our retarded wasn’t sure of what happened tried to put the gun backwards and look down the barrel to see why doesn’t it come out.
In that moment the gun shoot and killed the thief instantly. This is kinda like a primate kinda man who doesn’t know the danger of what he is exposing. What I imagined when I read this was the fact that a giant ape looked down the gun’s barrel in order to solve the stupid mystery.
Probably the gun was taken from the Stan & Bran props, like in that episode when on Bran’s head falls a brick and he realizes only 30 second later that it fucking hurts. Cheap ass gun. Buy something better if you want to do money in the future. That’s an advice for the future retarded thieves. Cause this won’t be the last attempt to get rich, trust me. There will definitely find some other guys to implant that idea. Cause it’s a great one, right? Buy a real gun man!
2. Two drunk as fuck retards
On the 2nd place we have a double nominalization. Two drunk ass, drank good at the gin shop and in the middle of the night they went to a railroad trying to prove that you can sit on the rail under a moving train without being injured.
They followed some trains and saw how high they are and then they went with the plan further. “How high are you? No officer, it’s said: Hi, how are you?”- right on that principle. One of them positioned along the railroad and the other only put his head near the rail. Unlucky for them was the fact that right then came another type of train came, with lower parts in the construction and of course it killed both of them.
Before mentioning the first place I have some interesting mentions, quite honorable and here I’m talking about:
– A man that needed to be castrated in order to remove a pleasure ring of his dick made out of titanium.
-A man that thought to make fireworks outta grenade and he thought to cut with a saw the metal part of the grenade so he could reach the gun powder that was inside.
– A couple of Americans, anyhow, a she and a he which made sex on a balustrade of a high building at the 19th floor and from the lack of attention they fell right down.
1. Achmed the terrorist
The supreme terrorist. Some guy made a bomb into a package and adjusted it so that it will blow at the opening, sending it after at the embassy of America.
After a week the post office returned his package cause it didn’t have enough stamps. The retarded terrorist thought that he received a gift and when he opened the package he blew right of his feet.