This film is hilariously bad. John R. Leonetti (The Butterfly Effect 2) throws everything but the kitchen sink into this prequel to “The Conjuring”. Doors close by themselves. Music swells suddenly for no reason. A sewing machine turns itself on in the middle of the night, requiring a character to get out of bed and turn it off, which is more of inconvenience than terror in my opinion. Lots of threadbare genre tropes are deployed in this meat headed money grab. The bottom line…? That kitchen sink probably would have proved scarier than most of them. Hey, the garbage disposal could’ve turned itself on. Certainly that’s where Annabelle belongs.

movie, annabelleThe film begins with perhaps the most ridiculous coincidence in movie history: Medical student John Gordon (Ward Horton) and his pregnant wife, Mia (Annabelle Wallis), catch a TV news report concerning the Manson murders. Next, out of nowhere, a bunch of satanic hippies break in and assault them. Luckily, John and Mia survive. Their baby girl is born showing no sign of trauma. The violence did leave its mark on one of the home’s occupants, though. And from there the “fun” begins.

Annabelle” is about how a satanic hippie girl took a police bullet while slumped over one of the hideous dolls in Mia’s never-explained hideous doll collection, and a drop of the girl’s satanic blood dripped into its eye, turning it evil.

This movie is nothing more than a soulless money-grab from this particular production company, attempting to feed off the success of “The Conjuring”. No mention of Ed and Lorraine Warren (real life paranormal investigators from “The Conjuring”) no James Wan (the director of “The Conjuring”) and not one doll-induced scare, all seemed to have a hand in making “Annabelle” a strikingly forgettable film.

For about 80 minutes of this 98 minute film, every single scare follows the ultra uncreative quiet, quiet, quiet, LOUD formula.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *