Why are they cheating?
It`s easy to have an opinion when you view cheating as being either black or white, but looking beyond that, the reasons why people cheat make it a far more complex problem than just it being right or wrong.
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There are many ways in which people excuse themselves for cheating: lack of attention and affection, feeling under pressure and being very stressed, the relationship growing cold, claiming they suffer from commitment issues. However they can all be gathered under one defining trait, that is lack of communication between the two parts.
You`d expect things to be balanced in a relationship, but it`s not always that simple to maintain it like this. As soon as one partner starts wanting more and the other one cannot meet him half-way, problems arrive. Sometimes timing is the key to solving everything. If your relationship wants to move forward and you don`t pick up on that, you`ll just grow more dissatisfied by it and search to fulfill your need for more elsewhere.
There comes a time in any relationship when you look at your partner and you get the feeling that you just don`t know this person anymore. They might have been acting secretive and very possessive about their stuff, working late more and more often, but what really triggers the alarm system in our heads is when they don`t act as their usual predictable selves.
There are many reasons as to why your partner`s behavior changed so drastically, but cheating is not always the answer. So are they cheating? Or are we just being paranoid? Find out now how to tell the difference without getting caught.
9. Change in the sex life
While a nonexistent sex life will give them away on the spot, a sudden shift in their appetite should also give you a hint that something is up. There will always be a confidence boost coming from sleeping around, as a large number of people who cheat do it because they are uncertain or unsatisfied with their sexual performances.
Suddenly straying from what`s familiar in bed can also be a sign that they`re cheating. If their style has changed overnight or they want to try to want something new without ever discussing the issue, you should start asking yourself questions, since you didn`t inspire these changes. Another thing to watch out for is fakes. If you`re aware that your partner is faking it in the bed, it might be a sign that they`re getting action from somewhere else.
8. Bad memory
“ Keeping track of their lies is vital to every cheater ”
Of course when you`re leading a double life, “business” and “pleasure” will get a bit mixed up. While keeping track of their excuses and lies is vital to every cheater, this will also lull them into a false sense of security.
What no cheater is ever expected to get caught with is the truth. The more times they spends with their secret lover, the more of a blur it becomes, to the point when they won`t be able to keep track of what he did with whom.
What will give them away will be one moment of lapse in which they will speak of a certain memory that they won`t remember doesn`t coincide with yours. The time they`ve spend with the other person will be often unaccounted for and hard to explain.
7. Penny for their thoughts
If you wanted financial stability, you might as well kiss it off now. If you`re living with a cheater, your bank account is in for a huge blow.
While it`s less encountered in a woman`s case, sooner or later most cheating men will have to think of an untraceable way to buy their lover gifts. Constantly covering lunches, trips and hotel rooms will leave a wide gap in their wallet.
How can you catch them? No matter how careful a person is, there will always be a misplaced receipt somewhere and while online payment has made life so much easier, it doesn`t cover everything. Large, random banking transfers and withdrawals are much more visible to the eye and easy to investigate.
6. Excuses, excuses
Cheaters just don`t seem to ever run out of them. When they`re about to do something that they can`t tell you about, rest assured, they`ve already thought up of an excuse. Their stories always add up but somehow they make you feel off-balance.
You know something`s not right, but you just can`t put your finger on it, so you dismiss the whole thing and move on. How can you tell when you`ve had enough of it? Probably by the time his excuses pile up and come down on you.
The signs? You used to be in separable before, but now he`s giving you the most cliché excuses for being busy. They`re being held late at work a lot more often lately or they want to go out with friends that they didn`t show any particular interest in at all before. They`re always tired, but you have no idea what they spend their energy on.
They`re never hungry when they come home for dinner for whatever reason. While none of these signs decisively mean that your other half is cheating, it can show that a change has been made in your relationship. If they`re not doing any of these stuff with you, they`re definitely doing them with someone else.
5. New hobbies
There can`t be anything bad in your significant other trying something new, unless you can`t be part of it. The usual excuses include them being absolutely sure that you wouldn`t enjoy it since they know you better than you know yourself apparently and insisting that you wouldn’t have fun.
Another sign that you should look out for is them being shady about who they hang out with. If there was anyone that they could tell you about, they`d be using proper names.
4. Hot`n Cold
Living with a ticking time bomb isn`t the lifestyle you wanted when you entered this relationship. Whether is the fear of getting caught or a recent fight with their other love of their lives, cheaters always feel as if they`re living on the edge, so it`s no wonder they`re always irritable and playing the defensive against you. But that doesn`t mean that dealing with unpredictable mood swings has to become your new everyday routine.
Signs? They`re always looking for a fight or for some time alone. If the reason was something that they could`ve told you about it, they would`ve. They`re in a ridiculously good mood, but they just can`t seem to remember the reason.
Meanwhile, their phones could pass for a small earthquake. On to the other extreme, if they suddenly went from being overly nice to a terrible mood, that`s a red flag right over there. Keep your eyes peered, as those changes usually occur after a call or a text message that they will dismiss telling you who it was from.
3. Look me in the eye!
“ Liar would avoid looking in your eyes ”
It`s common knowledge that a liar would avoid looking in your eyes, so why wouldn`t cheaters do the same? You should pay attention to one`s body language.
Maybe it`s the sense of guilt, or just that sparkle in their eyes that they can`t hide. Regardless, he`s hiding something from you. While avoiding eye contact doesn`t necessarily mean they`re cheating, there are other ways in which their bodies can betray them.
Which? They`re always distant. If you were being showered with attention before, that`s long gone now. Dating isn`t what it used to be either. If they`re all over you when in private, but keep one block distance away from you in public, then you should start hearing the alarm bells.
2. New look, new me!
You can find out a lot just from someone`s appearance, so when your partner goes off and makes drastic changes overnight because they felt the need for something different, you should feel something`s up. If they were happy with how they looked like before, that`s all over now. The reason is most likely that they`re trying to impress someone and sometimes, that someone isn`t you.
The signs? They`ve become overly meticulous about their hairdo. The dressing code has improved significantly and you can`t separate them from the mirror if their life depended on it. Last but not least, they smell differently. There`s always a cloud of perfume surrounding them no matter if they`re going to work or just to the shops quick. The usual stray hair that doesn`t belong to anyone in the house, whether you`re thinking of yourself or the pet.
1. Don`t touch my stuff!
While everyone is entitled to their privacy, when you`re part of a couple things get a bit more complicated than that. Ultimately, there`s nothing more annoying than your significant other being irrationally possessive at the wrong time.
And since life isn`t a movie, you know the chances of him not letting you touch his phone or computer because he`s planning you a surprise are very low.
The signs? They`re always on their phone, texting people there`s no use telling you about since you don`t know them anyway. When you get close to them, they hide it and wipe the smile off their faces so you won`t ask them what they were smiling about. They constantly change their passwords, for different excuses or their inbox is suspiciously empty.