We are living in the most advanced period which the Earth has ever seen. Or just probably. If not culturally at least technological speaking. Space shuttles, super-computers that can stay in your pocket, automobiles that work on hydrogen cells, buildings that are getting views from beyond the clouds.
These are the signs of progress that show us how sophisticated we ended and how much we’ve developed, pushing the boundaries each day even further and remaining in the history as those that changed the world. Considering these not all inventions man made had the same success.
Along the years, some of the inventions were… non-impressing, irrelevant, maybe even contra-productive to its purpose it was designed. There are lotsa potato-heads, even in the country’s “Got Talent” shows where people wanna expose what their brain farted over the years and brag, “here I have a nose-wiper, it’s comes very useful when you have your hands tucked up your ass and search treasures there”.
You never know where from they come with those kinda ridiculous inventions and sincerely you don’t wanna even to find out to be sincere. They are not useful… at all.
This is a list of inventions without purpose man ever made, only not to brag too much.
10. Handerpants
You went down the street and you observed that everybody is looking kinda strange at you, and as well you can’t figure out why? The eyes are turning right onto you constantly and you don’t understand why making you feel little and crouched?
You look at yourself and say” Hmm, I’m dressed quite ok”, and suddenly realize that “ hey, my hands are undressed”. How could I come out without anything wearing on my hands? Ei whell, for this urgent need of the masses it comes in response the invention called “handerpants”, intimate lingerie for your hands for you to not feel little in the public, naked, buy handerpants, and your hands will not be naked anymore.
This is the kinda invention that makes you wonder where have you been the whole time till now. You must really check the video, it’s as crazy as it sounds with the Archie McPhee, the inventor of this what the fuck item here. They are really coming in hand for usage. Like really. Not a good joke? Fuck you.
9. Baby Mop
You’re just having your first baby and you can see how your fur-ball is walking enthusiastic across the room messing his clothes in a record speed. Only if there was a method to stop him from messing his clothes… you look at him and burst with joy, the lights go on and off, little light bulbs surround you and suddenly you have the idea.
Only if there was a way to stop him from doing that. But wait, there actually is. I don’t need to stop him from messing his clothes, I must encourage him and put him in hand the tools that he needs to do that.
So the mop costume for baby was brought to life, which learns the kid the value of work from the early years and will open the gates of success to a career as a janitor and potential lung diseases associated with breathing in the dust from his childhood.
This device is made for the lazy asses who don’t know how to finish their chores and still have time to watch the TV so they invented this crap as a solution for their laziness but it’s still quite brilliant.
The only problem is the more narrow corners in which the baby will never go so you have to wipe that yourself.
8. TV-hat
If you want to block everything, retreat yourself and to have a moment of relaxation but closing your eyes is too out fashioned, making it possible that something could occur during your relaxing period or you don’t have something else to do at night in the bed.
For those problems, the inventive “TV-hat now” tries to respond creating the Cinema Cap, making you comfortable when you see the dozen episodes to watch them one after another, or the movie that went out two years ago and you hadn’t the opportunity yet to see it, and it’s available right now.
It doesn’t count that you’d look ridiculous and if it isn’t possible to watch the whole movie until you arrive at work or when you stay on the beach, being vulnerable that someone would steal that ugly shit, less probable. But more important is for you to see the “Red Wedding” from Game of Thrones. This shit is the predecessor of the Edge from Samsung where you can transform your telephone into a portable cinema, but this is just more stupid and less comfortable.
7. Laptop support on the wheel
You are a smart man which planes his shit from before and you already have the Cinema-Hat on the back seat but you need to drive today. Argh, what will you do? There is a solution for you as well.
Don’t despair, there is the laptop support connected to the wheel so your hours of entertainment to never end and the driving burden becoming much easier, not having your attention distributed to the drivers that are cursing you, that are hitting your car in the back but more on the display in front of ya resulting a life with less troubles, more relaxing and shorter cause you are an idiot and you are not watching the road in front of you and your death will increase the IQ points of the planet with 30.
It doesn’t make any sense to use that while you are driving and the only shit I see this used for is for stake police that are awaiting for a special someone to get out and be followed, otherwise this is quite useless.
6. Shoe-umbrella
It isn’t only useless but it comes against the purpose that it was created. Maybe it protects your point of the shoe from the rain but the water that is leaking from the umbrella on your foot ends up in the shoe.
Not to mention your funny walk will attract so many looks that nobody will notice your umbrella that is sitting on your shoe, to be said if you worried that that will stick outta the crowd.
This invention is kinda sexists being designed only for the women’s shoes, not being any kind of option for men invented yet. That’s because they are a big shoe lover and we men are taking less serious the looks on our bodies.
The invention was patented by Kgeil Nwaol, a Japanese fucktard who invented back in 2010. I know that Japanese are kinda weird, but this excels the weirdness that could attract people, it’s a mega-attraction. Maybe there’s something to this, otherwise people wouldn’t make publicity for them. The color that the umbrella comes in are: Red, Blue, Green and Yellow. Choose your style mothafuckas.
5. USB rock
As a pet is the new trend in the gadget area. The product swears that when you connect it on the PC it will do nothing at all!
The electric power will run through it and it will not move it, will not vibrate, will not get texts, won’t talk to you, will not do a single shitty thing. Anyhow, the company that produces this shit made millions of dollars from selling the rock. Who would buy this shit and for what?
This is not put on the 1st place cause it could be transformed into something useless, as a storage device, carve that stone to put an actual USB. Or you could use as a self-defense article and throw at your attacker that tries to steal your laptop.
You never know when a rock could come in handy, giving you the possibility to pin in nails into your laptop or dunno, just sit. As well the cable it could be used to strangle someone or simply hang your rock to the laptop and… occupy a pretty useful space for something useless.
4. Dietetic Bottled Water
I don’t know how all these years the people didn’t succeed to pass along this element that is clearly needing degreasing. Millions of calories, hundreds of fat agents, this being the only way to explain the existence of dietetic water.
It would be an explanation though… Through the richer countries, companies started sweetening the water, give her lotsa aromas, colors, especially the bureau water, this distinction of diet water should be done, even though there isn’t a fucking thing to be afraid of.
This is kinda an original invention, probably the one and only to think about inventing it. We really needed this sorta water, or more precise, the Americans would need, cause they are all fat and shit and the only way to loose weight would be a strict fucking diet, even the water to be diet.
Don’t ask me why but the answer will always be “Japan” if you will ask dumb questions. They have it all, from the normal to the most extreme kind of economy, hell they can even order Diet Water at the restaurant.
3. Screen privacy hoodie
The past years, people became more and more preoccupied of the indiscrete looks of those that are looking at their screen. This invention comes as a savior for our privacy but it has the potential to ruin our lives.
Not only that you see your screen via a very small window but the PC heathens even faster and you heathen yourself as well and you need to become a frog and breath trough your ass to not die in two fucking minutes.
Very fucking useless but still not the most useless thing invented in this world, there are even more retarded than this, and you will see. Let’s say that will come in handy in case you are watching something nasty or play at the exchange market, to completely immerse in what the hack you are doing, but let’s be honest, nobody will need this shit, Nobody.
It’s made out of wool and the inventor is called Joe Malia, an ex-art student and the target were “Computer Obsessives” and one of its advantages is that you can watch while the sun is having its ray directly onto the screen, that if you want to be seen in this shitty shit.
2. Top-less hat
This hat is trying to offer the man that have starting to get bold, a little patch of hair on top of their heads. But let’s be serious, nobody fools anyone, plus are you sure you want to get out with a carpet on your head?
I don’t think. For hundreds of years made campaigns when the balding gives you virility so embrace it. If Vin Diesel and The Rock are handling theirs I think you would succeed as well.
The only thing the hat is used for, for real, is to keep you away from insolation but this shit isn’t doing a fucking thing except hide your eyes, leaving your skull vulnerable to the sun and it still looks like crap, who would buy this shit?
1. DVD -rewinder
I think my generation is the last which understands the joke behind this device which rewinds DVD’s. I’m gonna explain for the younger.
Back when we had cassette players and VSH’s, not every time you had the luck that the device will rewind the cassette from the beginning so most often you had to buy a different device but this thing doesn’t apply on the DVD’s, they don’t need rewinding so this device takes the 1st place as being the most useless shit on the market till this day, nobody uses it, nobody seems to get the hold of what the heck is supposed to do, and it’s literally the most stupid shit I’ve ever heard in my life. Ok, alongside the dietetic water, but that doesn’t count. This is quite a money waster. The biggest one of them.